What are you looking for in a relationship? Do you even know? Probably not, but this doesn’t stop you from having all kinds of expectations from the person in front of you. Do you think is fair to treat human relations as transactions? You are not looking to buy a refrigerator, you are looking for a person to share your life with.
When you use this cynical approach to deciding the person that is right for you, you lose the right to complain about who they are, because you were never interested in that. All that matters is what you want, and this is clear proof that you don’t understand what it means to be in a relationship.
It means that two persons decide to live a single life, not because they were afraid, or they thought there might be something to gain, but because they choose to do so. The purpose of any human relationship is to improve the lives of everyone involved.
This means that what you need is important, but sometimes you’ll have to consider what the other person needs as more important. Being together is not about material gain, or checking some boxes. The benefits of a good relationship are to be felt and lived.
When you consider human contact to be only transactional, you are ignoring the way it works. In love, friendship, and compassion, you don’t get what you give, but the more that you give the more that you get.
Friendship is hard to keep. Just like any kind of relationship, it requires both sides to be actively involved. This is not always the case, and at a certain moment, you might find that you are making all the effort. Nothing works when the people involved pull in different directions.
Sometimes, friendships end because people have outgrown them. They are no longer right for this relationship. As life goes on, every person changes. Each of us goes through situations and events that transform who we are. That is why friendships also need to change. They either evolve or dissolve because the people involved are no longer the same as the ones that entered this relationship.
It is difficult to lose a friend, but you need to see it as something positive, even if it’s hard. You both need something different now, so it is not fair to keep up with something that no longer serves either of you. A new stage of life lies in front of you, and both of you must embrace that, but it does not mean that the time you had together has no value.
Friendships might end, but the experiences had together need not be forgotten. In them resides the true value. People need different things at different moments in life, so when a relationship ends, it means that the needs of the people involved are no longer the same. It is time for each of them to find a new, better place.
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