Forcing the words

My thoughts are always running and I am trying to catch pieces of them and lay them on this page. Sometimes they make sense and sometimes they don’t, but it’s the only way I will remember them. Who knows? They might prove useful one day.

Some mornings my mind is calm and my thoughts are clear. Then, I find the words easy and what is in my mind adds value to the page. Other mornings my mind is anything but still and I can only pick up pieces of what is in there. On those days the words that reach the page might not be as valuable but they can still prove useful. They just need more work.

Today I’m writing so I don’t forget how to do it. It seems I have nothing to say. All of my thoughts go somewhere else. I call upon them so I can scribble some words on the page. The words start coming, but I’m afraid they say nothing. Or maybe they speak of the confusion in my head and the fear following me everywhere.

I have set upon a path I have never walked before. It’s something I find myself doing more often lately. Each time I do this, I am afraid, but I understand nothing changes when you stay in the same place.

If you are stuck in the same place in your mind then you will be stuck in the same place in your life.

I miss doing this. I miss letting my thoughts run free. And I miss the feeling it brings.

These days I have to force myself to sit in front of the page and start dripping words one by one. Each of them feels pushed like it doesn’t want to come out. But in order to reach the ones that want out I have to go through the words blocking the exit.

My soul needs good words to find their way to the page. In this way I understand to follow my calling, to touch as many people as I can, and more importantly, to touch the ones that need my words, the ones that are as lost as me.

I give all that I am in the words that reach the page for you, the one reading. I hope you find value in this or at least comfort. I wish my words can help you even more than they help me.