When where you are and where you want to be are not even on the same continent, life can become a bit heavy.
Many of us find ourselves in a position like this at one time or another and most of the time the way to free ourselves is to trust that where we are now is a temporary stop on the way to where we want to go. Some stops will be longer than others and from some, we might never leave, but it doesn’t have to be so.
When we learn to trust our path, we will understand that some of the stops are necessary for us to become the person we need to be before we reach the destination. Running from what is hard, or giving up, means we give up on ourselves and lose direction. Facing difficulties is no fun, but it’s something we all need to do so that we learn what is of value and what’s not.
What is the decision that can move me forward, and at the same time has the smallest impact on the people around me? I have been struggling with this question for a long time, and I found no pretty answers. All I can do to escape this psychological prison is to consider what is best for me and doesn’t hurt others.
The steps I need to take are unclear. Part of the problem is that I have stretched my mind to the point where all I want is to stop. Stop everything, at least for a while.
I consider my mind to be the best part of who I am, and the thought that it’s being changed in ways that are not good frightens me. I am on the edge of sanity and the only thing to keep me from jumping is that I know I am able to resist this temptation, for me, and for the people I care about.
Helping others is what speaks to my heart, but now it’s time to help myself because pushing me past my physical limit is more selfish than any other choice. For me to be of any use to someone, first I need to be of use to myself, and I can only do that if I’m sane.
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