Can’t control everything

There’s no way to control everything, and this is a hard lesson to learn. So then, why do you keep trying to control every aspect of life? Wouldn’t it be better to give into the flow of life and trust that what comes your way is meant for you?

Yes, not everything that comes will be what you want, and not everything that comes will be good, but there will always be benefits to what comes your way. Some time might pass before you understand what the benefit was for what happened. It might even take years for you to figure it out, but there will always be something there.

This tendency to control everything is preventing you from enjoying life because it keeps you in the same loops. All that is new, can’t be controlled, so it gets dismissed. Life is meant to be a surprise, and in your mind, this implies risk. So, by trying to control things, you want to eliminate all risk.

Risk can’t be completely eliminated from life, because you’ll never be able to predict every possible outcome, and also be prepared for it. Some things, you can control, and your focus should be on them. Everything else, you let develop as it does and make the best of it.

You are like a ship gliding across the surface of the sea. The ship does not try to control the sea, because that’s not possible, but it uses what it can to reach its destination. Do the same and use what life gives you to reach your destination. And don’t forget to enjoy the journey.

It might seem that life isn’t fair, but that is not true. Life just is, and it has no bias towards your suffering. You are free to disagree with this opinion, but it does you no good to do so. What’s the use of going through life thinking that everything is against you?

If you are right, it doesn’t help you, and if you are wrong, you start judging yourself. Try to take what comes your way as it is, with no preconceived image of where it will take you. Enjoy the process of making sense of the world.

When something new comes your way, make the effort to understand what it means to you. It might not feel good at the moment, but there must be something that you can take from it. The life you lived until now might’ve conditioned you to see things in a certain way. This is a protection mechanism, but it’s not working correctly now.

The pain you’ve been running from has its own purpose, and you have to allow yourself to feel it. It is necessary to feel the pain before you can heal, and at the same time, that pain will build resilience in your mind. Be aware that from this moment you are in charge of the choices you make, and the way you choose to see the world.

You might not be able to control your circumstances but you can control how you interpret the events in your life. There is a single difference between a life worth living and one full of regret, and that’s what you take away from what is happening.