I have started to feel overwhelmed by the way things are going. It has become more than a feeling. It is now a physical sensation, a cold shiver going down my back, that doesn’t want to leave. Another thing I’m tired of is the constant pressure in my head.
I understand I can’t control what is happening in the world outside, but lately, it seems I can’t handle what is happening inside. My head is pounding and the only thought in my mind is to run. To remove me from this crazy place.
My state of mind is not as good as I’d want it. I can’t keep face anymore. The way things are done here is changing the person I am. I have observed the effect on my principles and on the way I work. I can no longer lie to myself that all is well.
The only way I see to stop my degradation as a human being is to remove myself from this place. Wherever I end up, I’ll try to do my best. I tried it here, but with no effect.
For a long time, I tried to convince myself that things are going to change, that this is only a faze. By now I know better. The way things are done here is embedded in everyone’s mind and no matter how much I try they are not open to something different.
I believe I have reached my limit because I notice subtle changes in my behavior and in my person. I don’t like them. Being in a situation I can’t agree with is changing me, and not in a good way.
From now on I must be true to what I feel is right and if all other peoples have something to say about how things should go, it’s their business.
I owe it to myself and my family to do everything as good as possible with what I have, but at the same time keep my core beliefs intact. They are all that is truly mine.
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