Trust the changes

I sit in the silence of my room and for the first time, in years, my mind is also silent. There are no plans being made, no questions being asked, no more overthinking and overanalyzing. All that is left is me.

I have been chasing this kind of moment since I can remember, but in the last decade, they’ve been avoiding me. Now that I’m in one, I don’t know what to do. All that I’ve planned for the future are just distant thoughts, they have no effect on me now.

My past has completely faded away, leaving me wondering how did I get here. My conciseness floats in the space freed up by my thoughts, but it’s not connected to anything. It feels like looking into a mirror, trying to understand my reflection, while my reflection does the same with me.

We are different parts of the same being, but at this moment we are aware of each other’s existence. We have always sensed one another, but it was only a feeling. Now, when our connection is certain, it is hard to accept. Today, I see parts of myself that I was unaware of only a few years ago. I have not discovered them all at once, but one by one they have become known to me.

The person I have become is made of all the parts I uncovered and all the parts that are still hidden. In time I will learn more about who I am, and every time my mind becomes silent, I will be able to see those parts come together into something that I’ll be able to understand. 

Life can get confusing at times. Everything seems to go in the right direction, there’s no pressure on you, but in your mind, something is off. Why do you think that is? Haven’t you asked for this?

The way you imagined your life is how it is now, but you are a changed person, so now, you want something different. It is acceptable to acknowledge that you are different from the person that imagined the moment you are living now. There is no need to be disappointed.

Life will always keep you moving and, through this movement, you change every day. If you no longer feel connected to the destination you decided on in the past, you need to decide on a new destination. The old one is no longer useful to you because reaching it would bring no benefits.

All the things you want to reach in life, are to be considered only checkpoints, and you must understand that there is not only one way to get there, and also, that some of them are optional. You are your own guide for life, and you will make mistakes when choosing directions to move in. This is natural because you can’t know everything.

The primary purpose of the destination is to act as a beacon, but know that on the road is where the gains are. While you work on getting where you need to go, you change as a person. You become the one that can reach the destination. This transformation might happen without you even noticing. Become aware of the changes you undergo, and trust that they are making you a better person.