Be better

Little by little, we find out who we are. If we like what we uncover or not, that is another question.

As a man who struggles for purpose and meaning, I have started to believe we have been given this life to learn. Not to study, but to learn. The more we learn, the more we are able to find out who we are.

With each piece of the puzzle we bring into the light we get closer to forming a clear image of who we are. For most of the pieces, courage is needed to accept they are part of us, but without accepting both the beautiful and the ugly the image becomes flowed and untrue. A good life is rutted in being true to ourselves.

How can I be better? How can I enjoy the blessings of life and at the same time learn and improve as much as possible?

I wake up in the morning with no clue on where I should go or what I should do. Some mornings I’m full of life and others I am confused and lifeless. I am pushing myself every day because I’m afraid to stay still. Even if from the outside I appear to be calm, staying in the same place for a long time is scary.

I am constantly moving in my mind. It is difficult to be like this. My mind needs to keep moving, but at the same time, it needs stability. This is why each moment I’m trying to find the space between always moving and being still. It’s tiring.

The good part is that this constant changing state makes the demons inside my mind come forward, angels also. I don’t take sides, I only listen.  Now that I’ve seen them for what they are I can learn.