This page is the best listener. I can say anything, with no fear of judgment. The disadvantage is, the only one to answer back is me. At times, I get tired of talking to myself. I need people to share ideas with, I need human contact.
No matter how flawed we are, we need each other. Inside, in our mind, we are always alone and no one can help us with what’s going on in there. Outside we flourish when we are around people of our own kind.
These days, I feel this lack of contact. I am aware the situation will not change very soon, but I pray we will regain some degree of normality before we all go crazy.
In the meantime, I try to trick myself by turning to discipline, by sticking to my routines. It does not always work, but it helps. And I need all the help I can get because my fears are waiting on me to be weak, and pull me into the void.
I stand in front of you with nothing but my beliefs. I don’t know if they have any value for you, but for me they are priceless. I open myself to anyone, with no fear and with the hope that this will help someone besides myself.
Every time I lay my thoughts on paper, I uncover parts of me I’d rather keep hidden. It’s not easy to do, but I need to do it for me to heal, for me not to be afraid. All the fears and dark thoughts that reach the page lose their power over me.
Sharing what is in my mind provides a way of communicating with people that goes beyond words. I hope my words make people feel, make them remember they are alive.
We all need to be reminded sometimes that we are still alive, even if we would have it any other way. We are alive for a life worth living, even when it doesn’t seem that way.
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