A different world

The way I see the world I live in has nothing to do with reality. This comes with both benefits and problems. The good part is that I choose what  I see, I pick what I give my attention to. The bad part is that I’m not always aware of where my attention goes, so I focus on things that are not good for me.

My mind makes sense of reality by creating a different world, a world that is only mine, from the fragments of reality it chooses to collect. The mind is always trying to simplify things, to make the world easier to cope with, but if left unsupervised, it can pick from reality things that are not good for me.

When this goes on for a long time it becomes difficult to change the way the mind works. It is not impossible to make it focus on what is good for me, but it’s a lot easier if I direct my mind on what helps me grow, as early as possible.

I was rarely aware of where my thoughts went before I started asking questions to myself. From the questions I asked, came answers that I was not ready for. They made me feel like I was asleep for such a long time, with no idea of who I am, and why I am this way.

Once my eyes open, I can never close them of to the truth. It is on me to pay attention to what I focus on and what my mind chooses to add to the world it built inside. The thoughts flying through my head are not always to be trusted, that’s why I question every one of them that I am aware of.

There is a kind of darkness lurking inside every one of us. We try to hide it, we try to suppress it, but it never goes away. This darkness is as much part of you as everything else that makes up who you are.

You don’t need to believe me, but when you will find time to sit with yourself, some of the thoughts will be frightening, like they are not yours. They’re yours, but you never explored these parts of your mind, so you never knew what was there.

The more you try to keep the dark part of you hidden, the stronger it gets. With time, it can become strong enough to break out of the cage you put it in. To avoid being taken by surprise by who you are, you need to become acquainted with every entity that has found a place inside your mind.

You get to know the deepest parts of your mind by taking the time every day, to explore them. Making a habit of this is mandatory because it will help you make friends with every entity in your mind. In doing so, you know each other well enough to work together, rather than against each other.

When you learn to trust the parts that used to frighten you, you become a lot stronger in the face of adversities. But in order to trust them, you need to understand them, and this only happens if spend enough time with yourself. No one else can sort out the mess in your head. They can give advice, but you have to do the work.