So many things

We always want to accomplish so many things, but we rarely stop to wonder if they are what we really need.

You make efforts to become the person you think you should be, long before you ask yourself who you are. Now, it is done. You have the house, the car, and the job, but there’s something missing, and you don’t know what.

Questions are coming into your mind, your mind becomes restless, and your days mash together into something that won’t allow you to move outside of it. You’ll need to come up with some answers to these questions if something’s going to change. None of the answers will be easy, but they all need to be accepted.

Every new answer uncovers a small part of who you are. Once you’ve uncovered enough pieces, you start to understand that who you are and who you became have little in common. You might not even like the person you have become. What now? You can’t hide from yourself. You already tried that, and look where it got you.

The real work starts when you admit that the person looking at you from the mirror is not your friend, it is only a projection made up by a scared little child. It was made up of borrowed opinions and misinterpreted words. You’re not a child anymore. You have the right to change things. You can make up your own opinions.

For anything to ever make sense again, you have to give up on everything that is not good for you, and start again. This time, start from who you are and give yourself the chance to grow on that.

Clarity comes from putting distance between you and the things pushing you off balance. Too many times we tend to react to what comes in our life. A better is to step back, analyze what is in front of us, and decide what is to be done.

By default, we are set to react to what happens in life, that is why it is hard to pause for a moment, long enough for the reaction to become a response. The benefits of being patient, and waiting for your emotions to calm down before taking action, will be visible with time. Even if it might seem inefficient in the beginning, keep doing it like this. You will thank yourself later.

Emotions are important, but they are only part of the picture, and should never be the sole base for decisions. For a better decision, the reason should always be in balance with emotions because this way you get the best of both.

The distance between what happens and how you choose to respond does not have to be long, there is no need for charts and complex analysis. An instant is enough to evaluate a situation and give your emotions time to diffuse.

No matter what type of emotions you are experiencing, the high of it is not a good place to make a decision. All decisions should be taken when your mind is free from intense emotions.

Learning to put space between event and response is a lifelong activity, but to start learning, you must first become aware of what you are doing.

No one can teach you lessons you don’t want to learn, not even life. But I can assure you that life will always try to teach you something, more than once, when necessary.