As a child, I was afraid of the dark. I thought growing up would change that. It did in a way, but I’m still afraid of the dark.
In the dark is where my thoughts snick up on me. They surround me like a pack of hungry wolfs. They circle around and come at me one by one until they have their fill. When they’re finished I’m left tired and empty. I’m lucky if I’m able to fall asleep and no dream comes. Most nights I’m not lucky and my sleep is just as troubled as the time before.
After years of this, I learned to sort out what is in my mind, to gain some control. Now my nights are calmer. I sleep better. Still, some nights, I’m caught off guard. Then, I’m the same frightened child that ran to his parents’ room in the middle of the night. I have nowhere to run now and no one can help me. It’s only me.
It’s strange how things seem to be scary in the night and when the light comes everything is better. We’ve grown to be afraid of the dark, but it’s not the dark we should fear, but what can hide in the dark.
It is strange how the monsters created in your mind can grow to control your life. That is just the way fear works.
Somewhere along the way, you were so afraid that it left an imprint on your mind. That imprint should be long forgotten, but instead, it started to grow and now is threatening to draw everything in it. It is time to face this monster. But unlike any other monster, you have to fight it bare hands and with your soul open.
Understanding who you are, why you are afraid, and what it all means to you is important if you want not to be scared. When you are true to who you are the fear gets small and unimpressive. It allows you to focus on things that matter. It allows you to be you.
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