Overwhelmed

I’m overwhelmed. My mind can’t seem to be able to stop for a moment. I’m constantly playing scenarios in my head. At the same time, I have to pay attention to what is happening in front of my eyes. My decisions must be based on reality and they must be the best.

Lately, sleeping is only an exercise. I wake up as tired as I went to sleep. Sometimes more tired. I run away from what I have to do, only to be drawn back to the same spot later.

I need a moment of peace for my mind and my soul. A moment to regain my balance. Because right now I am one push away from a fall. I do my best to keep it together. For now, it’s working. For how long remains to be seen.

Please Mosa, give me the clarity and the strength to take this to the end. I want to go back to the people I love. If it weren’t for them, I would’ve given up a long time ago.

As I put these words on paper my mind is relentless. I want to sleep. There’s no time. I need to be awake. A new day is beginning. A new day, more beautiful than any before it, because days are numbered now. If we don’t succeed in what we set up to do the count will end. So we cherish life a lot more now that we know it might be taken away from us.

Blessings from a thousand lives have been thrown upon me and my life. For most of my life, I was blind to this, but it’s time to acknowledge the truth.

I have been blessed from the moment I was born. The love of my parents surrounded me at every moment. I had no need to struggle for the first part of my life. For this not to become a problem I have been taught to make my own mind about the world and that not all people are as blessed as I am. The fact they had less doesn’t make them lesser people.

It’s strange, but now, after all that happened in my life, it’s easier to see the blessings. I have lost my father and It hurts, but I kept all I have learned from him and that is fortunate. I hold him in my heart and my mind and I see that as a blessing.

From now on everything is different. I must be a role model for my brother, just as my father was for me. I will do my best to make others see the blessings in their lives.