Time to breathe

I am lost in days that seem identical. Each of them leaves me empty. I’m trying to push through and make progress. This is not the way I want to live my life. I need to find the meaning in everything, including every day I’m alive.

My wishes are unable to influence the real world, so I have no other choice than to move through all the confusion and try to reach my targets. This proves to be a hard thing to do because my mind is weak at times. Acting only on willpower gets tiring and my energy is low.

I need time to breathe. I need time to find my balance again, but it’s difficult to do when I’m pushed and pulled in all directions. During the last few months, life felt like a struggle and only my principles and work ethic kept my head above the water. By now, I am so tired that every wave is pulling me under, but I’m not ready to give up.

As long as I breathe, I’ll do my best, and even when my best is not good enough, I’ll find a way. Starting over new, but turning back to the old ways is not the way to go. Not unless I want the same results as before.

What should I do if I know no other way to do things?

I am grateful for how my life is and my wanting to get better doesn’t take anything from that, but some aspects could use some improvement. The thing is, I either don’t know how to improve or I am not disciplined enough to take the necessary actions.

I am not moving in the right direction and this has to change. For better decisions, I need to keep my calm and trust in what I decide. What happens around will always be messy, but I don’t need to be pulled in and be confused.

All I have to help me is my clarity, and I need to guard it to the best of my abilities because it’s the one thing allowing me to keep some sanity in a crazy world. It allows me to see people for who they are and to make good decisions. Right now, it might be all that I need.