My story

Where is my story? What is my story?

A while back I thought I knew the answer to these questions. Now is not as clear anymore. I have followed my story to where it led and I find myself stuck in the middle. I have gathered many pieces of the puzzle but not enough to show me where I should go.

I am afraid that I’m going to start forgetting why the story found me. It still wants to be written, but I’m afraid that I will never find my path back. I must find the courage to step back into the lines I have written and find my way to the end.

Here I am again, trying to lay my thoughts on paper. This morning is not as easy as I would like it to be. My mind is full to the brim, but if I try to push something out it flies away before reaching the page. 

Now I’m left with talking about the state I’m in and it’s not a pretty subject. I am agitated, a lot more than I should be. My days are going fine, but I constantly feel like I am carrying something on my back, something that drains my energy. 

I try to push through this each day, but in the last week, I’m not efficient. I have moments when I want to do nothing. I know is not the right way to go, but I am tired. I’m tired of constantly fighting. I need some rest. 

Every morning starts the same. I wake up full of energy and will and I promise myself that this day I’ll start finding the story inside my story and the right way to arrange my scenes will reveal to me.

Until now it hasn’t worked like that. In the evening I start on a new outline or I order some scenes, but then I lose interest. This happens because I don’t make progress as fast as I want to.

Many times, in my life it has been proven that consistent action, even in small amounts, makes a difference over time. This leaves me with only one option. That option is to work on my story for as little as I can, but I must do it each day. I must not guide myself by the progress I see and let the work take effect. In time, the small actions I make every day will become evidence of how a little effort applied consistently can lead to places I never thought accessible.