Frozen in fear

I can hear my own heart and nothing from that says “you can do this”. I am frozen in fear and all I can think is “how have I ended up here?”. There is no answer and by now is not relevant anymore. I am here and I need to find a way to survive.

Help is not coming and people are counting on me. This means I have to face what’s in front of me. I have passed the last point of return a long time ago. The only direction left for me is forward. It’s clear I don’t have an easy path but I must trust I can push through and allow myself to become the man that can do that.

For a man that appears to be organized and put together I often find myself in situations I don’t like. This is not all bad because being somewhere I don’t like forces me to learn new things to help me manage what’s coming my way. All the learning is always useful and I’m sure it never goes to waste.

The bad situations I found myself in made me a better man just as much as the good ones, maybe more.

I don’t know what to say. I am relaxed because I know the issue is out of my hands. Nothing I do will change the outcome of this situation. I’ve been worrying a lot lately, not accepting that what is mine will always find me, many times with little effort on my side.

There were times in my life when I changed direction from what frightened me only to meet the same thing further along the way. These days I no longer run. I just stand. I let fear and worries pass over me and then I go my own way. I admit is not an easy task, but I become better at it each time I do it.

Today I am faced with change again and it scares me, even though it might be for the better. I will leave the outcome for this in the hands of a bigger power and I will trust for the best.

I miss the moments of peace. They are so rare now. I have been drawn into a fast-paced world and I’ve let myself go wherever life took me.

I am not regretting anything even if there were things I would’ve liked to do sooner and things I didn’t want to do at all. Now, they are all part of me. All that I have met in my life left an imprint on the man I am today. Even if I want to be more and live more, I am grateful for everything and everyone that has been and is in my life.

I still trust my path will take me everywhere I need to go.