Been trying to find a way out for some time now, but with no success. I can feel a breakthrough is close, but I can’t identify the actions that will take me there. All of my life I have used my gut feeling as a guide for my actions, and even if it forced me not to go with my first choice I ended up in better places further along the way.
I know that trusting my gut feeling is the way to go to pull out of the situation I’m in and into the life I’ve been working for, but my lack of patience doesn’t make things easy. My patience is long gone by now. All that keeps me from giving up are my reasoning and my will, but I don’t know for how long they will be able to do the job.
I have always been aware that, in life, things don’t happen instantly. There is always a minimum time span for everything and also a lot of work to do. It’s not that I don’t want to do the work anymore, I like what I’m doing, but, at this moment, the day when I’ll be able to take care of my family by doing what I like seems far away.
What to do if I need a solution now? How to settle my restlessness and find patience again? I do know not the answer to this question, but I will act on what I know until I get where I need to be.
I need a break from how things are going right now. The state I’m in brings forward thoughts that do me no good, but that I can’t avoid. As long as my scenery remains the same, I’ll keep battling the same things.
That is why I’ve decided to go on a road trip, with the intent to clear my mind from what is currently filling it. In doing this, I hope to change the type of thoughts coming forward when I’m alone.
For the next two weeks, I will be moving through life in a different way. All that is requested from me is to be present and do my best in any situation. I give up all expectations, in the hope this will allow me to enjoy what I’m experiencing.
Many times I’ve found myself dwelling on what the future needs to bring, or how the past should’ve been, and I forget to experience this current moment. I am now trying to correct this. I am aware that I can’t escape all of my worries and problems, but I can face them with a clear mind, and in doing so, find the best way to approach them.
The purpose of my running from the world is to give me enough space and time to flush out the things that keep me frozen, and set the basis for a different way of approaching life. Two weeks is a short time for a complete change in perspective, but I need to start somewhere, otherways I’ll never get anything done.
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