The way I feel is strange. I am anxious and nervous most of the time, like a wild animal trapped in a cage, but at the same time, I experience moments of complete peace. The anxiety I feel is about my current situation and the fact that I don’t feel like myself doing the things I do. My activities no longer align with the person I have become, so a change is needed.
This change I’m looking for is something I long for, but at the same time, I am afraid of it and what it might bring. My future is not certain in any way, and this fuels my anxiety. I am aware that I can’t predict what is to come, but for now, I am stuck in place with no idea about what my next step will be.
The peace comes when I’m able to look at this future change with my soul, not with my mind. When I do this, I feel everything will be alright. Even if I have no evidence, I trust this feeling.
Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons we don’t want to learn. Sometimes, being in a place you don’t want to be in, is exactly where you need to be. It’s not what you want to hear when the only energy you have left is used to keep you breathing.
Being in this pace will transform you into someone you can’t become any other way. Knowing this is no consolation, but it can come as guidance when nothing else makes sense.
I get the sense I am in such a place right now in life, and the only thing that keeps me going is the certainty I feel in my gut about the outcome of what I’m going through right now. If I’m wrong, I’d rather go through life believing this lie.
I’m chasing a feeling that has no physical effect. It only affects me, so maybe it has some physical effects, but they are not the ones I want. The way I feel in my moments of peace is something I try to replicate often. I find it hard to detach from the world for long enough to calm down.
When I manage to break away and step into a place that is only my own, my energy rises, and I’m no longer distracted by my worries, all that I do is be and feel. I can never remain in this state for too long, but every time it lasts as long as it’s necessary for me to refresh and recharge.
The times we are living in have many benefits, but they also overload us with many things that we don’t need. For us to make sense of all that comes our way, we must find ways that can help us shake the baggage we no longer need.
Many of us are not even aware of the stuff we carry around every day, but if we start paying attention we can identify each burden on our back. After we do that, we can throw away what is no longer useful.
You are the only person that can influence your life. I know that it doesn’t seem so when things you are involved in crumble to the ground. As long as you are still breathing, you are the only one deciding if you stay broken, or you start building yourself up again.
In the long term, doing nothing might prove more painful than working towards what matters to you. So, choose wisely.
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