Today is a good day. It has to be, otherwise what’s the point?
Many days have started the same only to turn bad until the end. In the morning it’s easy to will this day into submission, but as the day progresses our will is emptied and we end up being overwhelmed.
There is no way we can control what comes our way, but we can try to find what’s useful in what comes. We must adapt to unfolding events when they don’t line up with our plans.
The destination we want to reach must always be clear in our minds, but the road to getting there can change. It will change. When it happens, we must not remain stuck on the path we imposed on ourselves, but find new ways, better ways, to reach our destination.
In the last few days, I acted like a little robot. I’m on autopilot. I put no thought into my actions. Some days I find it hard to remember what I did. When I do remember is not much of what I want to do.
I am grateful that at least the mornings are mine. Before the day takes over, I am able to spend a few moments with myself.
After morning passes, I am drawn in a swirl and everything seems to go out of my control. On the good days, I’m able to regain some of that control and it’s better. On the bad days I end up with no energy and all I want to do is run. I don’t know where I would run, but that is what I feel.
I realize running is not the solution, that is why I’m still here, but when caught in situations I don’t like is all my brain can come up with. The trick I use is to run towards things, so if I don’t want to do something, I’ll do that first. It seems to work for now. We’ll see.
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