What is the secret to a fulfilling relationship? The short answer is hard work that you love doing.
Many people enter into relationships for the wrong reasons. They do it out of fear of being alone, they do it due to social pressure, they do it for material gain and many such reasons. The only reason to enter a relationship is because you want to make life better for each other. The main purpose needs to be selfless because then growth can be unlimited.
Every kind of relationship is based on trust and mutual respect. Without these two there is no talk about a real relationship. Trust needs to be given from the beginning even if it’s scary. There is always the risk to be hurt, but this is no reason to consider that things could go wrong from the beginning.
By learning to give before you ask, you allow the other to flourish and, maybe, do the same for you. Your partner doesn’t need to reciprocate, and this should not be expected. Expectations can affect communication because everything gets filtered through them, and your expectations are not the same thing as reality.
Communication should always be clear and genuine. This will create a base for you to build upon. It will also make it easier to trust each other. Stop using the image you hold in your mind as a stencil for the perfect partner, and start seeing the person in front of you. This person is real, and maybe you are not as expected either.
Learn to speak the same language when you are together. This is not an easy thing to do, and it takes effort, but it will make or break your relationship. Different people have different ways to see the world. It doesn’t mean any of the views are wrong, it only means that they need to understand each other’s views before real communication can occur.
When you learn to express who you are in a way that the other person can understand, you create space for growth. It might happen that you did everything right, you opened up, you did your best to see, hear, and understand the person by your side. You invested feelings, time, effort, and it still doesn’t work.
Please understand that a relationship is not a one person game. Everything needs to be done as a team, but a team with individual players. When one of the players gives everything, and the other only receives, things will not work. This is not a reason not to give. Give as much as you can, but don’t close your eyes when you are taken advantage of.
When the right kind of connection is created, the more you give, the more you will receive because each of you will want the best for the other person. It will never feel like effort even if it is, because a relationship is something organic, it always evolves. The moment it stops it’s dead, and it stops moving when you see the person you are with as less, instead of more.
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