Why is it that when you make a mistake, or things don’t turn out the way you wanted, you default to beating yourself up? You are able or find fault in yourself for everything in your life that you don’t like. How does this help you make things better?
It is recommended that you take responsibility for everything in your life, good or bad. But the purpose of this is to put you in a position to fix what is not working. When you find yourself guilty for every external situation, you’re losing double the energy.
Once something is done a certain way, you can’t go back in time and do it another way. All that you can do is to fix what can be fixed and improve the situation as much as your knowledge and abilities allow you. Everything that happened until now is not accessible to act upon. All that you can do is use it as experience and try making things better from now on.
What is the purpose of beating yourself up? Does it fix anything? So, if it doesn’t, why are you so set in your ways that is the only thing you do every chance you get? Something went wrong and you are afraid of the consequences.
The thing is that most of the consequences that pop up in your mind will never happen, they are mainly hypothetical. Why not focus on what is in front of you, and how it can be used to make things better? This is what you should ask yourself.
Stop repeating those things. There’s no progress from saying the same things in your mind, over and over. So, you made a mistake. Be assured that it won’t be the last and that you are not the only one who made a mistake.
Why don’t you take some time to acknowledge what went right, and what is your merit in that? Be clear! Once the mistake is made, no matter how many times you replay the events in your mind, the real outcome will still be the same.
What you can do, is to look at what happened from a different perspective, learn what was useful, and discard what was not. This way, you’ll be better prepared next time. Learn to be kind to yourself, and when you are alone use better words to speak with yourself. What you’ve been saying until now has not worked, and if you keep going like this, you’ll end up hurting yourself.
When something bad happens, it does you no good to keep repeating it in your mind. The more you do it, the more harmful it becomes, because your mind will react as if you were reliving the experience. So, if you don’t like it, let it go. Give yourself time to rest and to heal. Use this time to learn how you can do better next time, and understand how to avoid making the same mistake again.
Whatever you want to do, failure is a possibility. When it happens, don’t run, don’t be afraid, just stay still.
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