A place inside

There’s a weakness trying to take over me. It is a faint feeling, but it’s there. I have been in this place before. It is not somewhere I want to be.

A dark fog descended over my mind. Nothing is clear and I don’t know where I’m going. My head is heavy as a boulder upon my shoulders. My body feels this burden, so I act differently. My thoughts come in pieces that lack any sense.

From the other times, I know that if I do nothing the weakness inside it’s going to grow until it is too strong to handle.

Instead of ignoring my problems, I have decided to make peace with everything. Now I have another problem, I don’t know how to make peace. Most problems have been part of me for a long time and it proves hard to let them go.

I have no idea how to get out of this state of mind. I can’t run and hide from what I’m feeling. I must face and resolve everything that comes my way.

All I want to do is sleep, but not even sleep can change the state I’m in. I must have patience until the way I feel fades away by itself.

When will I turn back to what is important? It has been such a long time since I’ve worked on things that mean something to me.

I have allowed myself to be drawn in the swirl formed by everyday requirements and people’s presumed expectations. Little by little I moved further and further from who I am and I have forgotten the path I was walking.

I pray this morning is more than a moment of clarity. I hope is the start of finding my way back to a place I belong. A place that is inside me. A place no one can take away from me.

In this place, I am able to be myself and keep the rest of the world outside. All my ideas reside there. This way I am able to have my own thoughts and visions about the world with no need to borrow other people’s opinions.